You're Lovely To Me
by she.a.punk
Summary: A sequel to Let's Be Still. Over the years Ronon steps through the gate countless times, every time his daughter and wife are there waiting for him. R/K, J/C. Mostly from John or Ronon's perspective, fluff with a dash of angst here and there. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: No one asked for this but me and my heart. Sequel to _Let's Be Still_. I also consider this an accompaniment/AU version of my already AU story "Lost Children of Atlantis" under the login _pdljmpr6 _it's a good little read if I do say so myself. - Punk**

_You're lovely to me yes you are  
__You're the beautiful one that time cannot mar  
__You're lost in the eyes of my love as she cries all for __joy_

_You're a rose that for no man will yield  
__You have many names and all of them sealed  
__Your empire is vast from the first to the last you __remain_

_You're lovely to me yes you are  
__It's war all the time but you bear no scar  
__You glitter like sand as it runs through my hands to __the sea_

_You're Lovely to Me – Lucky Jim_

* * *

**4 Months**

The first time Ronon went on a mission after his daughter was born, John knew everything had changed and it would never go back to the way it had been. It wasn't just Ronon's restless energy, that had him twirling his blaster around his finger almost continuously, or the way he kept looking in the direction of the gate without even realizing it, although that was certainly new.

It wasn't the odd shift on the team that came when Ronon was just a little bit more pliant than he used to be, a little bit more apt to follow orders and look before he made a leap. It wasn't the newly strengthened bond he had with Teyla. It wasn't even the way, despite being sleep deprived, Ronon had a newfound patience for McKay.

It wasn't any of that. Not really.

Really, the thing that sealed it for John, was when they stepped through the gate when that first mission was over.

It had been brief, an overnighter, and when they arrived back in Atlantis the city was in the middle of it's night cycle.

But the Gate Room wasn't empty as it always had been before. This time Jennifer was there waiting, bathed in blue light in a pair of pajama pants and a hoodie. In her arms their four month old baby girl squirmed and wrinkled her forehead at the strange lights and sounds.

John knew, from the way Jennifer's eyes brightened with relief and soft joy when she passed Camaiya into her father's arms. From the way Ronon's face split into a wide grin and the entire world seemed to narrow to the child he held to his chest and his wife at his side.

John knew then, in that moment, that everything had changed.

It had always been important to John that his entire team make it back unharmed from every mission. But that day, watching Ronon cradle his daughter and wrap an arm around his wife as he made his way out of the Gate Room, John realized it would be different now.

From then on, he would always have to make sure he brought Ronon home to Atlantis. To his family.

Failure to do so would never be an option.

It was different, would forever by different. But a moment later when Cadman appeared from the shadows and slipped her arm around her waist John decided that different didn't necessarily mean bad.

**Age 1**

It had been a year.

Things were mostly back to normal, as normal as they could be on Atlantis. John had gotten used to half his team comparing notes on babies' bodily functions during long jumper trips. McKay hadn't, but everyone else had gotten used to his complaining.

Ronon wasn't as restless anymore during missions, he almost seemed relieved at times, unless they were going to be gone for more than a few days at a time. But John tried to delegate as many of the longer missions to other teams as possible.

John took his role as honorary uncle to Atlantis' two youngest members as seriously as he did any of his other roles on the expedition. He'd learned what foods were appropriate for children at what ages. He'd curbed his language, and done his best to do the same to Rodney, and any of the marines who happened to be hanging around when Torren or Camaiya were present. He could change diapers, he knew what a binky was and he kept a basket of children's toys under his bed.

As it was, Uncle John couldn't have been more proud when they stepped through the gate about a year after Camaiya was born, and, as usual, Jennifer was there waiting with baby Camaiya.

Ronon was bringing up the rear, as always, and John watched in awe as Jennifer crouched and placed the child's unsteady legs on the floor. She smiled, speaking softly to the girl and pointing at Ronon when he stepped through.

Camiaya beamed, chubby legs wobbling dangerously as she staggered forward, Jennifer's hands corralling her carefully, but not touching. He heard Ronon gasp and then watched the man drop to his knees, reaching long arms out toward the toddling baby girl.

Cam nearly toppled in her excitement at seeing her father, causing a few dark curls to jerk from side to side, before taking a few unsteady steps forward. As soon as she was within reach Ronon swept her up into his arms, twirling her around as the child shrieked with delight and he laughed.

The entire gate room erupted in cheers, and several minutes passed before John realized the reason his cheeks were hurting was because he couldn't stop smiling.

**Age 3**

When Camaiya was three years old she decided her favorite way to travel was seated atop her father's boots with her short arms and legs wrapped around his trunk-like limb. She would often attach herself to Ronon the moment he appeared in the gate room and the Satedan could be seen all over the city carrying out his duties as if nothing was different at all. From the infirmary to the training gym little Camiaya sat with her arms wrapped around his calf, repeating orders in something akin to English and doing her best to glare at young, bemused, marines.

**Age 5**

There was trouble afoot. It was just a gut feeling, but after almost a decade in Atlantis, John knew better than to ignore his gut.

It started at the end of a normal mission. They had gone to investigate an unusual power source on an unexplored planet and decided to bring along SGA2 as backup since unexplored usually meant 'dangers we don't know about yet' and John wasn't as willing to tempt fate as he used to be. As it was the power source had turned out to be a fairly useless root vegetable and after snapping a few pictures and taking some samples, they'd promptly returned to the city.

Back home in the Gate Room Jennifer was waiting at the foot of the stairs and Camaiya, now almost waist height, stood quietly beside her.

The moment he materialized in the gate room, per their tradition, Camaiya bolted from her mothers side and launched herself into the air and into her father's waiting arms.

"Hello Little One." Ronon grinned, setting her on her feet, then crouching to be at her eye level.

"Hi Daddy." Cam smiled back at him, but her eyes danced repeatedly away from him to rest on the group of men who had accompanied them through the gate, the members of SGA2.

Lorne led the group past Camaiya toward the transporters, reaching out to ruffle the child's dark, bouncing curls as he passed.

Ronon stood , raising an eyebrow when Camaiya jumped behind him and watched around the side of his leg as the four men left, a very noticeable blush on her tan cheeks.

"Goodbye Uncle Evan." She said, then, a few moments later, suddenly emboldened by the men's near departure she called out loudly. "Captain Sanchez are you going to come to my party tomorrow?"

All four men ground to a halt and looked back to where Camaiya was leaning out from behind Ronon's leg, waving furiously and beaming at the Captain.

Evan looked first at Ronon, who was glaring, then at Jennifer who was trying hard not to laugh out loud, and lastly at his team, two of which were struggling with their laughter as much as Jennifer and one who looked intensely uncomfortable.

"Well Captain? Aren't you going to answer the girl?" He said in his best commanding tone.

Sanchez pulled his cap down further over his eyes and glared briefly at his CO. "Um...I'll try Cam."

The child's grin widened, her smile never even faltering when her father scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder, turning abruptly to leave the gate room in the opposite direction. Camaiya twisted herself on his shoulder so she could maintain eye contact with Sanchez as long as possible and kept waving as Jennifer turned to exit beside her husband, no longer trying to hold back her giggles.

John pulled up beside Lorne, making brief eye contact with his second in command before turning to lead the way down the hall.

"Oh boy," Evan said after a low whistle, listening with half an ear as Ellis and Browne ribbed Sanchez mercilessly.

"Yeah." John sighed. He knew now his gut hadn't been wrong about the trouble brewing.

Camaiya Anne Dex has developed her first very first crush.

"I'd keep Sanchez away from Ronon's sparring sessions in the gym for a while if I were you." John advised.

Lorne nodded. "Copy that."

**Age 6**

John was weary when he and Ronon stepped through the gate at 12am AST. Neither had slept and both were soaked to the bone. Jen stood waiting for them as usual, but, unusually, Cam was not standing beside her. Instead the child was sat on the steps behind her, arms crossed, a decidedly Dex-like glower on her face.

John's gut twisted with guilt. He chanced a quick glance at his friend, but Ronon's face was unreadable, which was an answer in itself. He'd promised Ronon would be back in time for the Athosian Festival. It was why Teyla hadn't gone. And Rodney had stayed behind as well because they hadn't planned to be gone overnight.

They also hadn't planned on the village being the victim of a wraith attack while they were there. Hadn't planned on being culled and having to fight their way out of a hive.

But they'd made it, more or less no worse for wear. But they wouldn't tell Cam any of that. All she knew was that Ronon had missed her dancing in the highlight performance of the Harvest Festival.

Again.

And it was all John's fault.

He stood off to one side, watching as Ronon crouched, speaking low tones to his daughter. When she refused to look at him, he glanced up at Jennifer, something akin to hurt in his eyes and John's gut twisted again.

Jennifer squatted beside her husband and tried to reason with Cam, but she stubbornly kept her gaze on the floor and her jaw clamped shut.

Finally, both adults, weary from a sleepless night and Ronon not having eaten since the night before, rose again to their feet.

Jen grasped Ronon's hand.

"Cam, your father and I are going to get him some dry clothes and head to the mess for some food. You're welcome to come and join us when you've decided to act like a big girl, understand?" She said in a tone that left no doubt at her disappointment at the girl's behavior.

Cam kept her eyes downcast until her parent's backs were turned. Then her dark eyes snapped up and her frown deepened before she scrunched up her face and stuck her tongue out at her their backs.

John chose that moment to step forward and Cam's eyes shot over to him and she straightened and schooled her features, worried she'd been caught.

"I saw that." He confirmed, dropping onto the stair beside her.

"Are you going to tell them?" She asked, momentarily forgetting her ire and stared up at him with wide eyes.

John quirked a smile and bobbled his head. "Not today."

Cam started to smile and then, realizing it wasn't quite the reprieve she was hoping for, turned to look at the floor, her frown returning.

"He missed my dance. He missed it last year too." She kicked at the floor beneath her shoes. The soles lit up and blinked cheerily. A recent present from Cadman after her last trip to Earth.

John nodded. "I know. But he didn't want to. He wanted to be there."

"Then why wasn't he?" Cam shot back. "He always misses things." She grumbled, and stamped her foot, sending the lights into a frenzy again.

John sighed, turning to look toward the darkened gate.

"It's not his fault, kid. It's mine."

Cam looked up at him. "Why?"

"I asked him to go. I thought we would be back in time. It was important."

"But why?"

He sighed again. "It was...we would have been back in time." He tried, wondering how far reasoning would go with a six year old with hurt feelings. Probably not very. "It just...the Wraith had other plans."

He heard a small intake of breath and looked over quickly, momentarily gripped by panic that he'd let slip something he shouldn't.

"Your parents have told you about the Wraith, right?"

Slowly, Cam nodded and John relaxed.

"Daddy says they're monsters. But they can't get me here. Daddy will protect me." She said, as if reciting the words by rote and it didn't even occur to her not to believe them. John smiled. She had probably been hearing those words since before she was born.

"The monsters didn't want him to come to my dance?" Cam asked quietly.

"No he..." John looked at her. "Cam sometimes protecting you from the monsters means he can't be where he really wants to be, with you. To your dad, protecting you and your mom is the most important thing."

Cam nodded, looking down at her shoes. Her anger replaced by thoughtfulness.

"Is that why Daddy has bad dreams?" She asked after a few minutes.

John frowned. "What?"

Cam shrugged one shoulder.

"Sometimes the rainstorms wake me up and I go to sleep in their room. One time I surprised him and he grabbed my arm so tight I cried. He said he was sorry over and over again but I wasn't mad at him. He just scared me." Cam wiped her nose thoughtfully, unaware that beside her John's eyes had gone wide with shock.

"Mommy told me to only wake her up if Daddy wasn't already awake because he has bad dreams. Is that because of the monsters?" Cam finished and looked up at John, only curiosity in her eyes. It took a moment for him to respond, remembering a section of time a few months prior when Ronon had spent extra long hours sparring with Teyla and some of the more experienced marines, ending up in the infirmary much more often than usual only to return straight away to the gym. It had occurred to him at the time that it seems like the Satedan was punishing himself, now he knew why.

Misunderstanding his silence, Cam continued. "But if there are thunderstorms I always give him a hug to make him feel better. Just in case he had bad dreams again."

John smiled and leaned down to place a quick kiss on black curls. "That's good kid. He just wants to make sure you never have bad dreams about monsters."

Cam nodded stood up. "I'm going to go say sorry for being mean to him." She announced.

"Good idea."

She was halfway across the gate room before she stopped suddenly and turned around to run back to him. Before John could ask what she was doing she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you for fighting the monsters too, Uncle John."

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

**Age 8**

Ronon let loose a cry of rage and pain as he struggled to his feet, the puddle leaping to life in a flash of blue light.

"Ronon! What the hell do you think you're doing?" John's voice was sharp as he dropped to his knees beside the Satedan. "Just be still! We'll radio Atlantis to bring a stretcher or a chair or something."

Ronon shook his head, sweating profusely and eyes screwed shut, trying to get his breath back. He'd taken the worst of the beating, which was how he preferred it because it meant the others were mostly unharmed. Still, the painful shift of bones beneath his skin that shouldn't move independently was harder to ignore now than it had been before. His whole left side felt like it was on fire, his dark shirt sticking to his skin with the blood that hadn't yet dried.

Sheppard was looking worse for wear himself, blood crusted along his hairline and the bottom of his jaw was a jaundiced swath of yellow and purple. The man never could learn to watch his mouth.

"Ronon, stop moving! That's an order." John barked, putting a hand on the man's shoulder when he tried to stand again.

"Sheppard." Ronon ground out, staring up at him through his dreads. He didn't say the rest. He didn't need to.

They all knew who would be waiting on the other side of the gate. They were days overdue, but he and Jennifer had agreed on a cover story to tell Cam for situations like these. Two more days and Jen would have been forced to tell her the truth. If they'd had time to radio ahead his wife probably would have found someone to distract Cam in another part of the city until he was patched up.

But as it was, Cam would be sitting at the bottom of the stairs, staring expectantly at the event horizon to watch her father emerge, hazel eyes full of love and excitement and childishly oblivious. He couldn't take that from her. Not yet.

And not like this.

Understanding everything Ronon hadn't said, John glanced first at Rodney, who was frozen near the DHD, eyes wide and uncertain, then at Teyla, who's unkempt hair and field dressing over her upper arm was the only evidence she wore of their ordeal.

He pursed his lips.

"Fine." He glared down at his p90 and quickly un-clipped it, thrusting the weapon at Rodney before pulling Ronon's good arm over his shoulder. "Let me help you at least."

And Ronon did without complaint.

In the Gate Room, Camaiya watched the puddle carefully, waiting for the return of SGA1. Off to her left her mother and a few medical staff were talking quietly, but Cam didn't pay them much attention.

She jumped to her feet when she saw Rodney step through the gate, followed by Teyla and finally, after a few seconds longer than seemed normal, John and her father.

Cam rushed forward but Rodney stepped in front of her, smiling brightly and asking about the recent science project he'd been helping her with. Cam answered politely, forcing herself not to step around him. She bounced on her toes and answered what seemed like endless questions. Finally she couldn't take it any longer.

"Excuse me Uncle Rod, I just want to go say 'hi' to my Dad, he's been gone for a really long time." She smiled and bounded away to where John was standing and her parent's appeared to be arguing.

"What's wrong with them?" She asked, pausing beside the Colonel.

John started as if she'd surprised him. He looked down at her, Cam's dark curls stood up in frizzy tendrils around her face and she was dressed in a green sleeveless tunic, cargo pants and sneakers with cartoon characters she didn't know but liked anyway.

"Hey kiddo, I hear you're going to be allowed to start Bantos soon?" He smiled, moving subtly so that she had to turn slightly away from her parents to talk to him and still listening with half an ear as Ronon agreed to go to the infirmary, just not the way Jennifer wanted him to.

Camaiya nodded excitedly and explained that her parents had told her over dinner two weeks prior. She glanced over quickly when she saw her father set out in the direction of the infirmary, her mother trailing behind closely, and a nurse pushing an empty wheelchair after them both.

"Sorry Uncle John," she interrupted his speech about Safety when Sparring, "I haven't gotten to see my Dad yet. But when I'm allowed to start training I'll be sure to tell you!" She called over her shoulder, jogging to catch up to her parents.

"Hi Dad!" Camaiya beamed up at her father, not noticing when his returning smile changed to a wince the moment she looked away. She passed the time as they walked to the infirmary with one sided conversation, catching her father up on all he had missed while he was gone, pausing only once to inquire about his odd limping gait.

"Rocks in my boots," her father rumbled after a moment.

Cam tilted her head and then shrugged, accepting his answer and continuing in her story.

"And Torren promised to show me some of his favorite Bantos moves when I finish with my first round of lessons. I can't wait until we go to M55-347 to pick out my own pair next week."

Cam paused when they arrived at the infirmary and her father was whisked away for his post mission checkup. She didn't notice when her mother and a nurse pulled the privacy curtain around her father's bed, already having been pointed toward Jennifer's office to finish her homework by a stern faced Carson.

"Oh!" Cam snapped her fingers, "I forgot to tell him!" Cam spun on her heel and started back across the infirmary back to the place where her father had disappeared.

"Cam, wait just a second!" Carson tried, missing Cam's arm by an inch when he reached out to stop her.

"I promise, I'll get to my homework in just a minute Carson! Dad I forgot to tell you-" Cam pulled open the curtain without a thought and stopped dead in her tracks.

Jennifer and the nurse had helped Ronon out of his jacket and he was leaning to one side, allowing them to push aside his blood soaked shirt and gently probe the gaping, jagged wound that traced a terrifying line from his hip bone to just under his shoulder blade.

Cam thought she might be sick.

The three adults in the makeshift room spun toward her, shouting all at once for her to leave.

"Cam get out!" Her father bellowed, yanking his bloody shirt back down over his wound, but it was no use. The damage was done.

At her father's sharp tone tears sprang to Cam's eyes and she stood frozen watching her father trying to regain the control he'd let slip. In that moment she saw the pain and fatigue he had been concealing. All of a sudden she saw the bruises on his arms and face, the cut on his forehead and the one at his jaw.

So it hadn't been rocks in his boots after all.

"Carson!" Jen called out, using her Doctor voice, a hard businesslike tone Cam didn't particularly enjoy but recognized the meaning of. It meant things were serious. She watched her mother try to coax her father to lay down on the gurney, just as she felt a hand on her arm pulling her away, he did so. His eyes closed as he did, as if he didn't have the energy to try and glare her out of the room anymore.

"C'mon lass."

Cam let Carson pull her away, turning her away with him.

"Cam, are ye alright?" Carson crouched in front of her, folding her small hands between his larger ones, his heart breaking at the sight of fear and confusion on her face.

Cam looked down at him, and then up at the familiar eyes around the room. All were either avoiding her gaze or looking at her with somber faces.

Had they all known? Was she the only one who hadn't realized he was hurt?

Feeling foolish and scared, Cam's chin trembled and she yanked her hands out of Carson's, bolting from the infirmary at a run, messy curls bouncing after her with each step.

John tilted his head at the looks on the faces of two of his colleagues as he approached them after his post mission checkup. Carson looked up first, giving him an exasperated look for being out of bed and John lifted an orange prescription bottle.

"Don't give me that look, Doc, I got your stuff right here. I can rest better in my room than I can here." He shook the pills to punctuate his point before turning his attention to Cadman. "What's wrong?" He asked, already having come to the conclusion that something was wrong, based on the worried crease in her forehead.

Laura sighed. "Cam saw Ronon."

John frowned, not understanding her serious tone.

"I was trying to get her inte her mother's office to finish her homework when she slipped away. She pulled back the curtain before I could stop her."

John felt a small adrenaline spike as he made sense of the doctor's words, biting his lip, his eyes traveled over to the gurney Ronon had been on when John had been whisked away to the back of the infirmary. He'd been in bad shape. John had only seen some of the mistreatment he'd suffered at the hands of their captors, but enough to know he had new images to add fuel to his sleepless nights. To think Cam had witnessed her father in that state, after they'd all tried so hard to protect her from it...

"Where is she?"

Cadman shook her head. "In their quarters but I already tried, she won't open the door."

John didn't respond, just turned around and left the infirmary at a brisk walk. Laura and Carson exchanged a look, hoping Cam's beloved 'Uncle John' would have more luck.

He did. But only because he cheated.

Atlantis didn't often deny John anything he really wanted.

And he _really_ wanted those doors to unlock.

When John found her in her bedroom, she was seated on the floor against the wall, head buried in her arms and knees drawn up to her chest as she sniffed loudly, attempting to get her crying under control.

John slid onto the floor beside her and waited. After a moment he heard a small voice beside him and looked over to find Camaiya peeking out at him from underneath her mop of hair.

"What?" He asked, unsure if he'd heard her right.

"Is he going to die?"

"No! Of course not. Why would you say that?" John frowned, knowing full well why she would say that. He'd thought the same thing, and John had seen a hell of a lot more battlefield injuries than little Camaiya had. He pursed his lips when she didn't answer and put an arm around her shoulders, tugging her toward him gently.

Wordlessly Cam unfolded herself and crawled into John's lap, burying her face in his jacket.

"Are you sure?"

John thought about assuring her of Jennifer and Carson's skills. That he'd seen them nurse people to health who had much worse injuries and far worse odds. But he didn't. Instead, he just nodded and squeezed her tightly, wishing to restore the feeling of safety she'd suddenly lost.

Knowing he probably never could.

"Yeah kid, I'm sure."

**Age 10**

By age ten Camaiya had begun helping her mother inventory the infirmary stockroom after her school hours. She enjoyed having a job she thought important and Lorne had found an extra small Atlantis standard issue jacket with Medical yellow lapels for her to wear when she was 'on duty'.

She was still wearing the jacket, hair tied back in a ponytail that never quite fully contained it, when her father came through the gate after a short mission to foster goodwill with the Coalition. But when Ronon stepped through the puddle into the gate room he did not immediately find his daughter at his wife's side. He sent a questioning glance to Jennifer after greeting her and she pursed her lips in a look that he recognized as sadness that was not her own.

She pointed to the shadows under the stairs leading up to the control room.

"It's been a rough day." She said, glancing at John when he stepped up to them.

Jennifer then briefly relayed how Cam had gone to the infirmary at 1630 hours, her usual start time, and grabbed a couple boxes that had been beamed down for restocking from the Deadalus. And how the lionhearted 10-year-old had been rendered small and deflated at the sight of the newest doctor, a young man with blue eyes and light hair who Camaiya was all but desperately in love with, locked in a loving and somewhat scandalous embrace with an equally new and attractive physicist in said supply closet.

John's reaction was immediate.

"I'll kill him."

Jen smiled. "I don't think that is quite necessary Colonel, I've already taken care of the situation. I don't care for my stockroom to fall into the worn out cliche of an oversexed on-call room. Especially not when my 10-year-old has a propensity for hanging out in there."

Jennifer saw her words had little effect on one Alpha Male, so turned to look at the other. Ronon's gaze was locked unwaveringly on the shadows under the stairs but there was nearly no malice there. Only softness and regret over the hurt the entire ordeal had caused his daughter.

"I'll got talk to her," He said, before Jen even had the chance to suggest it.

As he walked away John moved into his vacated spot at Jen's side, watching the large Satedan fold himself into the small space under the stairs beside Cam.

"You're sure I don't need to kill anyone?"

Jen smiled and shook her head. "She'll be okay." She smiled. "There's really only one man in her life at this point. And he's with her right now."

John pursed his lips and went to find busy work in the control room, keeping Cam and Ronon in his peripheral vision. Just in case. All the Satedan needed to do was make eye contact with him and John would be gone in search of a doctor to kill.

But after a few minutes the sound of Camaiya's high pitched laughter could be heard echoing around the space, intermingled with Ronon's low baritone rumbling. John felt the twist in his chest release. Maybe Jennifer had been right. He didn't need to kill anyone.

Not this time at least.

**Age 13**

John thought he'd been brokenhearted before. He'd been dumped. He'd been divorced. He'd been to funerals for close friends and weddings of former lovers.

But the first time he stepped through the gate without Ronon by his side, he knew he'd never felt guilt and pain and hurt like this before.

He let Teyla handle issuing orders for backup and more ammunition, commanding the attention of seasoned and rookie marines alike before rushing upstairs to give a SitRep to Woolsey. John wasn't worried about those things this time.

Instead, he went directly to the base of the stairs where Jennifer and Camaiya were waiting.

Jen had her hands clasped tightly, pressing them against her mouth with her eyes closed, drawing deep, steadying breaths. Cam's curls flew back and forth as she surveyed the gate room as if she thought she might have missed seeing her father step through the puddle with the rest of the team.

Before she could open her mouth to ask John spoke, his voice low and gentle, meant only for them.

"We're going back. Right now. We're going to get him."

Jennifer nodded almost frantically, her eyes still closed. "Okay."

"We saw him just a few hours ago, he was alive. He was okay." John tried to reassure her, he reached out to put a hand on her elbow and Jen's eyes flew open to look at him.

"Okay." She said again, a little bit steadier. Cam's eyes darted back and forth between the adults, a frown marring her brow that deepened with each passing moment as she started to fill in the blanks John was leaving.

"Still," John glanced at Camaiya, now only a few inches shorter than her mother, and lowered his voice a bit more, as if that would prevent her from hearing his next words. "I think it would be a good idea for you to have the infirmary prepped."

Jennifer swallowed hard, nodding again. She gripped John's arm and gave it a quick squeeze as if to say _thank you_ and _bring him home_ and then turned to leave to do as he asked, glad to have something to focus on.

Behind them the gate was already redialing the planet they'd just left and a passing marine slapped a pair of p90 clips into John's outstretched hand. Immediately the reinforcements Teyla had asked for began following her through the gate, along with Rodney and Zelenka. John was ready to follow when Cam's voice called out behind him.

"Uncle John!"

He turned around. Cam was standing alone at the bottom of the stairs now, looking earnest and young, in her gangly too-long limbs and ever-wild hair, but she didn't look scared. Worried, but not scared.

Ronon would have been proud.

"Be careful." She said finally, wrapping her arms around herself.

John dipped his chin. "We'll bring him back." He said not allowing any doubt to seep into his voice.

Cam nodded immediately. "I know."

John felt his gut twist again. She said it with such conviction, such steady trust. He felt unequal to it. She didn't doubt that he would bring her father home, even though she had ever right and, at the moment, every reason to do so.

John pursed his lips and turned back to the puddle. As he stepped forward he made a promise to himself.

He would not disappoint her again.

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

**Age 15**

"Hey Torren." Cam smiled and waved, bounding down the steps in the gate room.

Torren smiled slightly, pushing one hand through floppy golden locks before resting it against the back of his neck and shoving the other into his pocket.

"Hey." He responded. Cam moved to stand beside him so they could both look at the inactive gate instead of each other. Cam couldn't remember a day in her life that she hadn't known Torren but something had...shifted lately, and she found that when she looked directly at him she couldn't stand still.

An awkward silence, another new development between them, was mercifully shortened when she remembered she'd wanted to ask him something.

"Oh, you said you would teach me that backhanded double cross move next time we sparred, right?"

"Yeah." Torren stole a glance at her out of the corner of his eye. "You want to, um meet me in the gym? This afternoon maybe?"

"Yeah," Cam answered back a little too quickly. Movement on the other side of the gate room caught her eye and her face fell. "But we can't today. Deadheaders."

Torren glanced at her again and followed Cam's gaze to the new recruits who'd been beamed down to the base from the Deadalus that morning.

"I forgot." Torren nodded, then brightened again. "Theres another place. I go there to practice when the gym is full. I could take know...If you wanted to go."

"Where?"

He shrugged one shoulder, feeling annoyed when he realized the new marines were making their way toward them. "It's some kind of underwater Marine Observation room on Sublevel D3. But its a wide open room and doesn't have restricted access."

"Perfect! What time?"

Torren and Cam ironed out the details of their rendezvous just as the new marines joined them and before long they were all so lost in conversation they were barely interrupted when the gate activated and SGA1 stepped through.

Ronon had kissed his wife hello and was patiently enduring her probing fingers as she scrutinized a small cut near his eyebrow when he heard Cam's laughter dancing through the gate room for the third time in as many minutes. Up until then he'd just been glad that someone had been there to distract her while Jennifer made a quick examination of his bruised and swollen eye.

John, who'd been berating him over bar fights during diplomatic missions, noticed the strange quality of the laughter too and cut himself off at the same moment.

They looked around and what they caught sight of made both men's blood freeze and then boil.

There, just twenty feet away, stood Atlantis' youngest resident, still a child as far as Ronon and John were concerned, though any objective observer would have noticed that by now Cam was turning into a woman. An attractive, highly spirited young woman with wild curls, teasing eyes and an easy smile to go with her room-filling laugh.

A young woman any young man would have to be a fool, and probably half dead, not to notice.

And a fool, young, handsome nearly-a-man Torren apparently was not. And neither were the other three young marines, hours fresh from the Deadalus who stood in a half circle around the charismatic, if not slightly unaware, Camaiya Ann Dex.

They may not have been fools, but they clearly all had a death wish.

Ronon slipped away from his wife with barely a word, John hot on his heels. Realizing what was happening, both were suddenly overrun with restraining hands and shouts of 'calm down' and 'stop it' and 'don't kill anyone, sir, think of the paperwork!'.

But the warnings fell on deaf ears. Fortunately, the young men caught sight of John and Ronon stalking toward them and did not misinterpret the danger in their eyes. The marines scattered immediately with Torren turning to take refuge behind his mother, who took offense at the look on both men's faces and couldn't help but ask in a deceptively sweet tone just what problem the men had with her son.

An argument ensued and the adults were all too distracted to notice the furtive smiles and flirty glances being exchanged by the two teenagers in the room.

**Age 16**

There had been a handful of times when Cam wasn't waiting when the team stepped through the gate. Usually due to illness or being off world when they made an unscheduled trip.

This was the first time she wasn't there by her own choice.

Ronon's face darkened immediately when he stepped through the puddle and he approached Jennifer, dropping a kiss to her lips before he spoke, as was his habit.

"I'm sorry," Jennifer sighed, "I tried to get her to come."

"She's stubborn." Ronon grumbled.

"Can't imagine where she gets that from," Jennifer quipped, her tone lighter than she felt. The past few weeks had been difficult. Camaiya had been moody, defiant abd unyielding. She and Ronon had fought almost constantly and Jennifer was exhausted from playing referee. Neither was very good at seeing things from the other's perspective.

Ronon sighed watching absently as Teyla and Rodney walked off toward the armory to put away their gear and Sheppard talked quietly to Lorne over a pad a few feet away.

"Maybe I should try to go and talk to her."

Jennifer snorted. "That hasn't been working so well for us so far." She shook her head. "No, I think we should give her some time alone. Besides, I could really use a conversation with no sass for a while."

Ronon smiled, putting an arm across her shoulders. He turned his face to kiss her hair when she dropped her head against his shoulder.

"No promises."

John watched the two leave, long since having finished his conversation with Lorne. With a thoughtful frown on his face, he turned and made his way toward the transporter, determined to find his youngest charge.

It didn't take him long to locate her and John smiled at the irony. The basis of most of Ronon and Camaiya's tension was that she had recently decided to study medicine, following in her mother's footsteps. And Cam didn't think continuing to spar and learn to use weapons was appropriate for the lifestyle she was trying to live. Ronon, being Ronon, didn't really care what she thought was appropriate. The only thing that mattered to him was that she be able to keep herself safe when he wasn't there to do it, and by any means necessary.

So it was rather ironic that in her anger at her father Cam often ended up in the back corner of the gym going head to head for hours on end with a fighting dummy. John stood and watched for a moment. Cam had her curls pulled back in the same ineffectual ponytail that had always proven unsatisfactory in her youth and was punishing the dummy with repeated head and body blows. She had taken the time to wrap her hands first, John observed, a detail she'd not often remembered in the heat of the moment when she was younger. But after enough dressing downs from her mother and John himself over bleeding knuckles and bruised fingers, she'd learned to prepare appropriately before giving vent to her anger.

It was a lesson John was still struggling to teach Ronon.

"Hey kid, take a break." John called out, after the dummy bounced amiably back from a particularly savage round house kick to the head. He tossed a towel in her direction which Cam caught with one hand and a scowl.

"What do you want?"

"Whoa," John put his palms up in surrender, "what are you mad at me for?"

Cam answered with a steady glare and just the barest hint of a pout, if John wasn't mistaken. And he was pretty sure he wasn't.

"I know you're here for _him._"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. And I don't have anything to say to him. Or you." She shook her head in disgust and dropped heavily onto a nearby bench. "He doesn't understand." She grumbled at the floor, then turned to John. "He doesn't even try!"

"Cam, you know why he is the way he is."

"I am not a soldier, Uncle John! I'm not a marine!" She exclaimed. "I'm gonna be a doctor and I am not going to waste one more minute learning how to hurt when all I want to do is help people!"

"It's not a waste of time, Camiaya." John said, his irritation growing by the moment. "The people in Pegasus have lived in the shadow of the Wraith for centuries. And your Dad more than most. He fought monsters you'll never know so you could have the safety you take for granted as normal."

"Oh please, like it's been some kind of picnic here. I have to get permission from the entire Gate Room _and_ my parent's just to go off world and hang out with kids my own age! And it's not my fault my dad has some kind of Pegasus PTSD, but _I'm_ always the one being punished for it. He never lets me do anything!"

John's lips drew into a grim line and his face hardened but the teenager was too lost in her rant to notice the shift in his mood. She stood up, pacing in front of him and glaring at the walls and the floor. "He never listens. All he cares about is sparring and fighting and shooting. He doesn't care what I want. He doesn't care about things that _I_ think are imporant. All that matters is what he thinks. Well I'm not a little kid anymore. Someday I'm going to go to Earth for med school and then he'll have to let go. But he'll probably try to "protect" me from that too. He's so..." Cam kicked the side of the bench. "He just...doesn't understand!"

Maybe his fuse was shorter because he was 36 hours of no sleep past exhausted, fresh from a mission that went just this shy of hitting the fan. Maybe he was just as tired of Cam's teenage mood-swings and selfishness as her parents. Maybe deep inside he was worried if he couldn't snap her of her brooding she might let her stubbornness get her into real trouble. Or worse.

But whatever the reason, John Sheppard chose that moment to cross a line he'd never thought he'd come to.

"Have you seen the patient in Isolation Room 3?" He said in a voice that was just above a gravelly whisper.

Cam stopped short in her tirade and blinked, confused by the change in topic. "No. I don't have the clearance level."

John nodded. "Come with me."

During the silent walk to the infirmary wing Cam realized how utterly angry John was by his unusual silence and the way he kept refusing to look in her direction. Unfortunately for Cam, her infamous Dex stubbornness had taken firm hold and she wouldn't allow herself to feel remorse over the words that had clearly upset the man so much.

John input a code on the keypad outside the observation room and swiped his hand over the door controls. The doors opened with a soft swish and they both stepped inside. The room was empty and John waited while Camiaya approached the window that looked down into the treatment room and the patient strapped to the gurney below.

Cam frowned, thoughtful as she watched an old man thrash against his bindings with more strength than his sinewy muscles should have allowed. He bucked and jerked, straining against the binds, his white hair plastered to his forehead and cheeks, mouth open in cries that didnt quite pierce the sound barrier of the room.

"Who...?" Cam asked finally, watching the patient with an almost clinical detachment.

"Do you remember Sergeant Tadashi?"

Cam nodded and then, a few moments later the resemblance sunk in and her eyes flew to John's.

"But that...that's impossible. He's only a few years older than me. How...?"

"You know how." John prompted, his eyes still on her. "The Wraith."

"No...I don't..."

John touched a button beside him and Cam jumped when the room was suddenly filled with the anguished cries, the angry swearing and pleas for death emanating from the man below. Seconds later he cut them off again and Cam was barely holding back her tears as she gasped for breath. No longer detached, no longer clinical, she was unable to tear her eyes off the formerly young pilot below.

"What happened?" She squeaked.

John came to stand beside her and stared down at the Sergeant.

"He was separated from his team. A Wraith got the drop on him and was in the middle of feeding when Collins killed it. Tadashi's system was flooded with the Wraith enzyme." He swallowed, blinking away too many dark memories. "The wraith took so many years off of him it's unlikely he'll survive the detox process."

Biting her lip, Cam turned, fleeing the room.

"Are you upset?" John's voice, stopped her dead in her tracks.

She whirled around to face him looking stricken and she blinked hard, angry when the tears fell anyway.

"What are you saying? Of course I'm upset. You just told me that he...he..."

"He is someone you barely knew. Imagine watching a friend go through that. Someone you love. Can you?" John asked his dark eyes drilling into a girl hev loved as if she were his own. Wanting to make her see. "Because we all have. Your father has. And I watched him go through a withdrawal that makes this one look like a walk in the park."

Cam drew back as if she'd been physically struck and it occurred to John that she might not have known about Ronon's experience after being betrayed by Tyre the second time.

"Now you tell me," he continued, "is there anything, _anything_, you wouldn't do to protect your family from that fate?" He thrust his hand toward the isolation room below. "Because there is nothing he wouldn't do. There is nothing in this universe that Ronon wouldn't do if it meant keeping you safe. Even if he has to push you until you never speak to him again, he would rather suffer your silence for the rest of his life than watch you be hurt when he knew there was something he could do to prevent it." John paused, feeling guilty for the sorrow and grief that spilled across Cam's face. He took a deep breath and forced himself to speak lower, calmer.

"It isn't him who doesn't understand, Cam. It's you."

Cam swallowed and averted her eyes. Pressing the back of her hand to her mouth, she turned and left the room. A moment later John followed her. She hadnt gotten very far.

Just outside facing her in the hallway, she'd nearly collided with Ronon.

"Cam?" Ronon asked. Then, seeing the tears in her eyes and on her cheeks, his eyes flickered over her shoulder to John and then back to her again. "What's wrong, little one?"

Cam gasped and threw her arms around Ronon's neck, pressing her face into his shirt.

"I love you daddy." She sobbed into his chest, drawing infinite comfort from the way Ronon's strong arms immediately encircled her, familiar and steady. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I love you so much."

Ronon's gaze was dark as he gazed at John, wondering just what his friend had done to his daughter to exact such a change of heart. The Colonel jammed his hands into his pockets and turned, making his way down the hallway in the opposite direction.

There would be questions. More than likely, Ronon and Jennifer would be upset with him for what he'd done. But John just couldn't find it in himself to regret scaring the sense back into the girl.

Because there was nothing in the universe he wouldn't do to keep her safe.

**Age 17**

The first time Ronon returned through the gate to a daughter he barely recognized, she was seventeen.

At first he'd ben confused. She was missing from her usual place beside her mother. Jennifer saw his questioning glance and turned her eyes meaningfully toward the control room.

Ronon followed her gaze and saw his daughter, looking nervous and excited all at once. Her cheeks were tinged pink as she met his gaze, and she bit her lip. Beside her was Torren. Now nearly nineteen, he stood a head taller than Cam, lean and muscular in a way Ronon wasn't anymore, vibrant with youth and strength.

And close. So close to his daughter that their upper arms touched from shoulder to elbow.

She beamed at him and when Torren leaned over to whisper something in her ear she tipped her head back and laughed loud enough to fill the busy gate room. Torren gazed at her with a look Ronon recognized. A look he still gave Jennifer if he caught her unaware of his stare.

In that moment, Ronon realized his daughter was not a little girl anymore.

**Age 18**

The second time Ronon he was facing toward the active gate, not emerging from it.

He stood at the top of the stairs, looking out over the carefully orchestrated chaos in front of the puddle. Jennifer, the conductor, gave directions to the marines and doctors buzzing around theb room. Standing still amidst the activity stood Cam, wearing a backpack full of supplies, ready to go through with the final group of doctors to help tend to the victims of the plague when she'd been given the go ahead.

Her jaw was set, eyes narrowed and chin lifted as she bounced on the balls of her feet with barely contained energy. On her right hip a leather holster was strapped with a smaller version of Ronon's blaster that she'd promised to always wear when she went off world. He knew she would always try not to, but took comfort in the knowing that she had the training and sense to use it if she had to.

Receiving the signal to move ahead, she gripped the straps of her backpack and tossed her hair as she stepped forward. She looked up and caught his gaze, smiling at him quickly before she disappeared, ready to go and battle death in a way he never had.

It was then that Ronon realized he'd raised a warrior after all.

**Age 19**

Ronon knew, as he stared at the rippling blue puddle, everything was about to change.

His fingers convulsively tightened and relaxed around the object in his hand. Teyla came to stand beside him and, instead of stepping through ahead of him, she grasped his wrist and turned him toward her.

Automatically, he bowed low and touched his forehead to hers.

"Come," she said, upon leaning back with a smile, "We should not keep them waiting."

Ronon nodded. Teyla didn't let go of his wrist and pulled him through the event horizon with her.

Moments later he stood in the gate room in Atlantis. The entire expedition, it seemed, lined the walls and stairs around them, watching with glee and anticipation as the Athosian ritual began.

In the middle of them all, stood Torren, as tall as Ronon himself and several inches taller than John who stood beside him. He faced Cam, who wore a deliriously happy smile on her face and a crown of white flowers atop her tumbling curls. Her burgundy leather top was cropped just above her naval and a low slung skirt clung to her hips. It cascaded down with layers of thin, flowing fabric that brushed the tops of her bare feet and the floor.

Cam glanced at Ronon and grinned, a dazzling smile that staggered him just as much now as it had the first time she'd flashed it at him from the crook of his arm.

He approached and took his place next to Teyla, opposite John and Jennifer.

He listened silently as Torren said his vows and watched Teyla pull a leather cord with a blue jewel on the end of it out of her pocket and slip it over Cam's head, cheeks flushed with emotion. A moment later Cam uttered the same words and her eyes turned glassy when Jen stepped forward, slipping a similar necklace, but this one with a deep red jewel, over Torren's head. Jen cupped his cheek gently and smiled before stepping back again.

Then it was Ronon's turn. With a steadying breath, he took one of each of their hands. Slowly, he pulled Cam's hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it before placing it in Torren's upturned palm. He held their joined hands between his own.

"Take care of her." He said to Torren, but kept his eyes on Cam.

"Or we'll kill you." John added, causing the women, and some of the men, in the room to laugh through their happy tears.

"You are united," Teyla smiled, "you may kiss the bride."

Torren immediately gathered Cam to his chest and she tilted her head up to meet his lips in a passionate kiss that drew applause from the crowd of marines and scientists around them.

Ronon felt Jennifer come to stand beside him and wrapped an arm across her shoulders, hugging her close to his side. Nearby Cadman slipped under John's arm, locking both of hers around him and dropping her head to his shoulder.

The other members of the expedition who'd been observing the ceremony flooded the floor to congratulate the young couple and escort them to the underwater marine observation room that had been prepared for the reception.

Ronon knew now, everything had changed.

Camiaya would still always be there waiting on the other side of the gate when the team returned, but it wouldn't be him she was waiting for anymore.

Ronon watched her thread her fingers with Torren's, her face was bright with joy and the promise of the future as they were ushered into the transporter. Torren stared at her, even as she spoke to other well-wishers, as if his entire universe had collapsed to a single person. He squeezed his wife's shoulders with a sigh.

He supposed in some ways it had.

Cam pulled Torren into the transporter, wrapping her arms around his neck in a passionate kiss just as the doors closed, allowing them a few moments of privacy before the party.

Through the crowd Ronon met John's eyes and saw in the man's face that his heart was not the only one aching. A quick glance down at Jennifer under his arm and at Teyla beside him reflected the same joy and love and sadness that he and his friend were feeling.

In some ways, every trip through the gate until then had been leading them to this moment.

He knew it was never going to be the same. But that was okay.

She was ready.

They all were.

_END_


End file.
